They do better at school, are more empathetic and create networks of help and listening. Even in the most traditional countries, families who prefer to have a daughter instead of a son are growing.
For centuries, having a son was considered an advantage. In many societies, children continued to be born until the heir was born. Today, however, an opposite trend is emerging in more developed countries: more and more parents hope for a girl. The scene is repeated on pregnancy forums and in videos TikTok of gender revelations and even in fertility studies.
Behind this change of perspective they are intertwined crisis of masculinityeconomic transformations and new family dynamics. For decades, global demography has observed a marked preference for males in large areas of the world.Asiadel Middle East and gods Balkans. The reasons were almost the same: they inherited the family fortune and surname, supported their elderly parents financially and enjoyed a higher social status. Females, on the other hand, were often considered destined to leave the family unit after marriage.
The consequences have been enormous: selective abortions, female infanticide and strong imbalances in the ratio between the two sexes at birth. According to studies UN and demographic research, there is talk of tens of millions of “missing girls”. In 2000, approximately 1.6 million girls per year were missing the natural sex ratio; by 2025 the number has dropped to around 200,000, a significant drop.
The demographic shift and the rise of daughter preference
While this mentality retreats, especially in developed societies the opposite phenomenon emerges: daughter preferencethat is, the preference for daughters. In South Koreawhich historically favored males, numerous studies describe a progressive reevaluation of female figures, considered more present in family life, more inclined to maintain close relationships with parents and to provide emotional support over time.
In Japanin some family surveys among couples who wanted only one heir, the share who preferred a female reached 75%. Also a meta-analysis published in Psychological Bulletin out of almost 20 thousand participants in North America and Western Europe found that parents tend to report a slight preference for daughters. Today, the functions once attributed to males have transformed. “Pensions no longer depend on them, inheritance is not linked to gender and women have reached levels of economic participation equal to, if not higher than, those of men.” explains to Panorama Alessandro Rosinafull professor of Demography and Social Statistics atCatholic University of Milanaccording to which the change is rooted in the profound transformation of the functions that once made the male particularly desirable. «It would be wrong, however, to talk about a reversal of preferences. Rather, we have gone from a strong asymmetry in favor of boys to a situation in which many parents consider a daughter equally desirable and, in a growing number of cases, even preferable.”
Relational skills and new educational challenges
But does this new preference really reflect a greater valorization of women or does it also signal a growing difficulty in the male condition? For the demographer, when economic systems, rights and role expectations change, the way in which the desire to have a son or daughter is evaluated also changes. And the growing symbolic attractiveness of daughters does not arise from a devaluation of the masculine, but from the growth of social value attributed to women and the opportunities they have gained in recent decades. This perception is also confirmed by some data. In most advanced countries, girls achieve better academic results and complete university studies more frequently, while boys remain over-represented in statistics relating to school dropout, addictions and other risky behaviours. «It is not a question of biological determinism», specifies Rosina, «but of the effect of socialization processes that still struggle to provide children with adequate tools to manage emotions, build healthy relationships and orient themselves in a job market increasingly based on relational skills And emotional intelligence”.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that raising a daughter is without challenges. Anxiety, aesthetic pressure, harassment and mental health problems continue to affect many girls. Yet, the demographer observes, many parents perceive women as better equipped to face the challenges of the contemporary world. And perception, even when it is not entirely accurate, guides choices. The phenomenon must also be read from a broader demographic perspective. In many developed countries, the postponement of unions, the difficulty of achieving economic autonomy and the low birth rate are transforming the way in which men and women build their life paths. «Research shows that it is above all daughters, daughters-in-law and grandchildren who keep relationships between generations alive, organize meetings, activate mutual help networks and carry out a significant share of the care work”observes Rosina.
The social capital of the family and the future of welfare
It is in this context that the idea of daughters as a sort of “social capital” of families takes shape. In Italian families, but more generally in those ofSouthern Europe where the public welfare it is structurally weak, it is the family network that acts as a social safety net. And that network is traditionally based on the relational and care work of women: daughters, daughters-in-law, grandchildren. In a society characterized by an aging population, increasing longevity and the growing fragility of community networks, this function acquires even greater value. «However, it would be a mistake to consider it a natural female characteristic. It is also the result of social expectations and cultural models that continue to attribute greater relational responsibilities to women.”
It is no coincidence that the preference for males decreases just as women gain greater economic and social autonomy. «It is one of the most evident signs of the advancement ofgender equality”says Rosina. «At the same time, skills traditionally associated with women, such as relational, cooperation and caring skills, are acquiring growing value in contemporary economies. THE’automation and theArtificial intelligence make these dimensions of the human factor even more precious. This does not mean that daughters are worth more than sons. It means that society is finally recognizing the value of skills and sensitivity long considered marginal. The real challenge of the 21st century is to ensure that these skills become the common heritage of women and men, rather than remaining associated with just one gender.” The world isn’t simply abandoning preference for males: it’s redefining the value placed on women. If for centuries the male child represented the future of the family, today that future no longer has a pre-established gender.
