A billboard collapses over a skyscraper in Milan and newspapers as “tomorrow”, “La Repubblica” and “Corriere della Sera” accuse climate change. It is the demonstration that the shots of sun, even among journalists, cause hallucinations.
The fault of the heat, of course. I am talking about the collapse of the gigantic teacher teaches, up there at the top of the Hadid skyscraper in Milan. It’s clear, isn’t it? Fault of the heat. Torrid temperatures. Climate change. There is no doubt. Don’t try to say the opposite or you are denialists. Here you have to act immediately. So that awaits the government to proclaim the state of emergency? To declare the social and health alarm? I repeat: What is waiting for? The skyscrapers will collapse directly, other than the signs. The buildings will melt, and if you look well the traffic lights are already a little liquefied, it will be for what they are always stopped on red. Next, don’t waste time. Someone hurries to bring a fan to the Madonnina or we will also find he knocked down by a heat stroke.
I’m not kidding. The Tomorrowthe newspaper of De Benedettito say, yesterday on newsstands was very clear: “The summer that melts the signs”, headlined on the front page in large characters. So we are sure: the signs do not collapse for a structural failure, for a manufacturing error or for the responsibility of someone who has not done the work properly. Macché: they collapse because summer “melts” them. After all, “three days above 28 degrees are ten times more frequent than before”, as the caption says. Heck: three days above 28 degrees have not always melted all the signs, and even the buildings, not to mention the brains of those who write certain articles? Just read the insistence on the formulas of terror: hot stress, hot emergency, heat mortality. And of course signs that collapse for the heat. “It seemed almost a hallucination from heat wave,” writes the reporter alarmed. Did it seem a hallucination? We would like to reassure the colleague: it didn’t seem.
Also Republichowever, is on the same wave, or rather aired, obviously of hallucinating heat. “Relating for the heat» holds the newspaper on the front page, without doubt. On page 4, however, doubts increase and the title becomes softer: “Among the causes also the heat”, recites in fact. Ah, here: “Among the causes”. “Also”. Below the interview with the openness that says verbatim: “It seems strange to me that the heat may have been”. So: it was not the heat. But the truth is well hidden, based on the ancient rule that we must never ruin a beautiful story with the truth. In fact, the interview is entitled: “The climate influences buildings”. And no: influence. But influence of more certain pens. Because as a ferocious tweet Fabio Dragoni The steel folds only at 1,400 degrees, the iron bends only at 1,600 degrees. But certain journalists bend easily at 90 degrees.
“It is not excluded that the failure is caused by high temperatures,” he titled hot (it is appropriate to say it) Corriere della Sera. “It is not excluded” is wonderful. It is the magical formula of terror because it keeps everything inside, especially when nothing is known. “It is not excluded” that the failure is caused by the high temperatures, of course, as “it is not excluded” that it is caused by a meteorite or a brucomo that has the wrong road or an invasion of termites or by an too strong scrolling of the elevator. “Nothing is excluded”, since you don’t know. Even if it seems that the prosecutor has not put the thermometer under investigation but a possible structural failure. And yesterday the firefighters said: “He sold the structure, never talked about high temperatures.” Someone could even suspect that global warming is actually used to cover the real responsibilities of those who place a 15 -meter high sign and 75 meters long on a skyscraper of 192 meters, putting the reasons of marketing in the face of safety reasons, as well as aesthetics. Let’s say: “It is not excluded”, among the commentators of the collapse, a wave of (hot) paraculi.
A wave that, of course, the most politicians Greets They immediately went to ride like Californian surfers. The news of the collapse had just appeared on the commentary of the Italians, in fact, and Laura Boldrini He already commented it on live TV by without hesitation to blame the climate change. Green Carlo Monguzzi He even assumed mystical tones by talking about “a scandal, an omen, a warning”, thus relaunching the good Savonarola In Green sauce: remember that you have to die of heat. AND Angelo Bonelli He took the opportunity to ask the government for the “state of emergency” because the high temperatures are clearly “a question of national security”. We just hope that Ursula von der Trupen does not know otherwise it takes advantage of it to give another 800 billion to weapons producers. “We stop the Russians and bomb the sun.” I already see it the next EU floor “ready for 2030”.
Of course now that we know that the heat makes the signs collapse, we have to be careful when we go walking through the city. To say: who assures us that the sign of the Bella Napoli pizzeria does not collapse? Or that of the Gameria da Silvana? Will all the advertising billboards, TV antennas, street lamps (at least higher ones) and even the railings of certain balconies? Waiting for the summer to dissolve everything, we prepare for the next collapses: first, of course, it will be up to the copy of the Madonnina put on the Isozaki skyscraper (higher than that of the Generali), then to the Madonnina Vera, the one on the Cathedral. While we are suspected that the spire of the Unicredit skyscraper, the highest in Italy, has already collapsed for a while, even if the usual greene negationists of the Green do not want to admit it. Moreover, it is known that in Dubai where the temperatures are torrid, and not from today, the skyscrapers have long since collapsed. Or maybe they built them directly horizontally?
