Created to simplify the lives of families, digital conversations around their children’s classes, sports and activities have often become places of anxiety, permanent commentary and organized noise
Each class has its own chatin fact it has much more than one. There is the official one from parents, which should serve to remind you of a deadline, a field trip, a change in time, a collection of money for a gift for teachers or professors; then there is the parallel one for a birthday, created to decide whether to take the cake to the park or to the toy library; then that of the few, in which we comment on what happens in the chat of the many; then that of the representatives, in which it is established how to formulate the message that will be published in the general chat.
Then there they are those beyond school: that of the football team, that of the swimming class, that of the catechism, that of the scout group, that of the dance recital, that of the parents who organize the ride in the car, that of those who no longer want to receive messages in the previous chat and open another one, with the laudable intention of reducing the chaos, generating a new one. S
We have entered the era of the permanent container, so much so that every childhood or adolescent activity produces a parallel environment, a digital room that is born out of necessity and grows by budding, to the point of creating a small emotional bureaucracymade up of notifications, confirmations, questions, answers, smileys, vocals, clarifications, screenshotsubmissions, probes, denials, interpretations and requests for further clarification.
The positive and negative side of school chats
Whatsapp it is now used by 90 percent of Italians, so the point is not the existence of chatbecause in light of the capillary diffusion of the social in question, it would be naive, and even a little snobignore it or reject it a priori. A chat class, when it remains within its own task, can be a useful tool: you inform those who have missed a notice, you remember an appointment, you coordinate an outing by avoiding rounds of phone calls, you reduce logistical misunderstandings and it is possible to make the life of those who work, run, accompany, catch up, set up timetables and try not to forget the lined notebook, the snack, the medical certificate, the white t-shirt for the performance.
The problem arises when the information tool is distorted into an emotional tool. And so a simple question becomes the starting point of a debate, a notice generates ten interpretations, the assigned task becomes a matter of public trial, not to mention a choice of the coach, the teacher, the educator, the parish, the sports association or the school which is transformed into a permanent session of collective comment.
Ten pillars for a healthy use of chats
For this reason, before we come across a new tirade towards teenagers and the distorted use they make – and do – of smartphones And sociallet’s also try to give ourselves at least ten minimum rules on the use of chat in our role as parents. Then some will also be valid for those between adults, such as condominium or work ones, and in the same way some will be valid for chat between kids, but these are other – important – stories that deserve specific in-depth analysis. For now, let’s do our part and dedicate ourselves to our possible decalogue:
1) If you open a chat, check that it is actually useful.
(Nowadays the notification of inclusion in a new group generates stomach ache).
2) Clarify immediately what it will be used for, say it clearly!
(A chat for alerts is not a chat for comments, a chat to organize a party is not a permanent meeting about the school).
3) Write little and write when news informs.
(Let’s have the debate face to face, somewhere).
4) Don’t respond in a hurry.
(Chats get worse when speed replaces thought, when you read poorly and react quickly.)
5) Don’t answer badly.
(The digital tone and synthesis make even sentences harsh that would be harmless in person).
6) Don’t get the contents wrong.
(Before submitting a notice, check the date, time, location, recipients and source, because inaccurate information creates more work than no information.)
7) Take care of your shape.
(Punctuation, clarity and synthesis are not formalisms and demonstrate the attention paid to the issue addressed).
8) Don’t vent.
(Parent chat is not the place to place frustrations about school, about coaches, about other children, about other parents, about life.)
9) Vowels only if there is an initial agreement.
(The vowel obliges others to give time and attention, so it should be used if it is a shared practice.)
10) Daytime hours.
(Please).
