Love keeps couples together, but sometimes it’s the bank balance that prevents them from separating. Between increasingly demanding rents, mortgages, children and daily expenses, becoming single again can become a luxury that not everyone can afford. And so, just as November 11th is celebrated International Singles Daya paradox emerges: there are those who live in a stable relationship but dream, at least for a day, of regaining their independence.
This is revealed in a survey conducted by Gleedenan extramarital dating platform, among 2,435 members who declared they were married or in a relationship. When asked what they would do if they could be single again for 24 hours, the 76% responded that they would choose to do so. A percentage that rises to 85% among women, while among men it stops at 66%.
Significant numbers to understand the desires of this particular community of users, but which require clarification: the survey was carried out among those registered with the app and not on a representative sample of the Italian population. The results, therefore, cannot be extended to all couples in the country.
Singles’ Day, why do so many couples want to be free again?
The most interesting data does not only concern the desire to become single again, but above all the reasons that push the interviewees to remain in the relationship.
Contrary to the romantic image according to which love is the main bond between a couple, economic concerns prevail among the users who participated in the survey.
The 34% indicates the cost of living as the main obstacle to the possibility of becoming single again. Rent, mortgage and daily expenses weigh on sentimental choices, especially when separating means having to independently bear costs that were previously shared.
Among women this percentage reaches 37%.
In second place are children, indicated by 24% of those interviewed. Love for the partner appears only in the third, with 22%. This is followed by the fear of loneliness, at 17%, and the fear of judgment from others, at 3%.
A ranking that suggests how much relationships can be influenced by factors that go beyond feelings. It does not necessarily mean that love has disappeared, but that the concrete possibility of choosing a different life also depends on material conditions.
The cost of living weighs on relationships: living as a single can cost too much
There is another fact that helps to understand the relationship between independence and economic stability.
When interviewees are asked what they wouldn’t like to miss about their life as a couple, the 39% indicates economic security. Among women the figure rises to 45%.
Followed by family, at 29%, stability, at 20%, and company, at 13%.
The picture that emerges is that of a relationship that not only represents a sentimental choice, but also a form of organization of daily life. Sharing a home, splitting bills and tackling expenses together can make the family budget more sustainable.
The prospect of a separation, on the contrary, often involves the need to find another home and completely reorganize one’s resources.
It is a dimension that can transform individual freedom into an economic issue, especially when the couple has children or long-term financial commitments.
Women want more freedom than men: what’s missing in married life
One of the most striking differences in the survey concerns how men and women envision their independence.
85% of women interviewed would choose to become single again for a day, compared to 66% of men. But it is above all in the answers to what is missing from single life that different needs emerge.
For the 23% of women’s main desire is not to have to constantly think about the other persona response indicated by only 7% of men.
The need to have time for oneself also shows a significant gap: it is cited by 20% of women compared to 8% of men.
These results can also be read in light of the weight of daily responsibilities and relationship management, without demonstrating that this is the cause of the differences detected.
The desire for independence, therefore, does not necessarily coincide with the search for a new partner. It can simply mean wanting to recover personal space, free time and the possibility of making decisions without having to constantly share them.
What would Italians do if they were single again for 24 hours?
The question posed by Gleeden imagines temporary freedom, limited to a single day. And it is precisely this element that makes the comparison between the answers particularly interesting.
Among women, 29% would choose to take a trip. Among men, however, the desire to flirt prevails, indicated by 28%, followed by the desire to spend time with friends, at 22%.
Shopping also represents a possible form of freedom: 13% of women would choose it, compared to just 3% of men.
And how much would they be willing to spend for this day all to themselves?
66% of those interviewed declared that they would spend more than 150 euros, 27% between 50 and 150 euros and only 7% less than 50 euros.
A curious fact, considering that economic difficulties are indicated as the main reason why many would not or could not give up the stability of the couple.
After how many years of relationship do you start to desire more independence?
The need to find one’s own space does not seem to emerge only after many years of cohabitation or marriage.
According to the survey, 38% of interviewees place this desire after two or three years of the relationship, while overall 56% say they felt it within the first three years.
Only 13% say they don’t miss anything about single life.
“What keeps long-term romantic relationships together is more the difficult economic situation than love”, claims Sybil Shiddell, country manager of Gleeden in Italy, commenting on the results.
This is an interpretation proposed by the company based on the responses collected, not a conclusion that can be generalized to all reports.
Is being single really synonymous with freedom?
Singles’ Day thus becomes an opportunity to question how expectations regarding life as a couple have changed.
The desire for autonomy does not necessarily equate to the desire to end a relationship. Wanting to spend 24 hours without sentimental obligations is different from wanting to leave your partner permanently.
It is a fundamental distinction to read the data correctly: the 76% detected by Gleeden expressed a preference in a hypothetical and temporary scenario, not the concrete intention to separate.
However, an interesting question remains, especially in a period in which the cost of living can impact personal choices: How free is a sentimental decision when economic stability also depends on the relationship?
Between the need for independence, family responsibilities, and the desire for security, the line between staying together by choice and doing so out of necessity can become difficult to discern.
And this is perhaps precisely the most significant theme of Singles’ Day: not only the freedom of living without a partner, but also that of being able to choose a relationship without being solely determined by economic conditions.
