A Canadian study reveals the five most common sexual fantasies: public places, domination, strangers, mature partners and threesomes. Data in hand, desire is less transgressive and more human than one might think
Let’s say it right away: they are almost banal. A spontaneous “Is that all?” comes to mind when reading five o’clock most common sexual fantasies emerged from a Canadian study, recently taken up by the American site Bustle. No madness, no murky secrets from an erotic novel: just desires that, ultimately, tell more about the curiosity to experiment than the desire to transgress.
The allure of risk
Al first placeshared by 62 percent of those interviewedthere is the desire to exchanging forceful effusions in a public place. Probably a far from comfortable activity, but with that thrill of adrenaline which arises from the risk of being discovered at any moment. It is the fantasy of exposure, of being looked at, or perhaps just of breaking – for an instant – an overly rigid social rule.
The control game
Al second placethe desire to be dominated or to submit to the other or the other, which occurs in the 60 percent of women and in 53 percent of men. A dynamic which, according to psychologists, has nothing to do with violence but with power and trust game: giving up control, even if just for a little while, is a form of abandonment that many experience as liberating.
The stranger as escape
The third place is occupied by the desire to flirting with a stranger and end up in bed, even more so if you are in a stable relationship. It is the fantasy of anonymity, of the encounter without consequences, of the mystery that interrupts the routine and rekindles the spark of desire.
The experience that attracts
Then there’s the temptation to be with someone oldertaking advantage of his experience, the charm of age and the confidence that comes with it. A figure who often embodies the idea of protection and knowledge, but also of discovery: not surprisingly, this fantasy is more frequent among those under 30.
The perfect triangle (at least in theory)
Finally, the ranking closes with threesome sexwhich has always been a classic of the collective erotic imagination. Not so much for the novelty, but for the emotional and symbolic complexity it brings with it: the idea of sharing, of going beyond limits, of mixing curiosity and jealousy.
The research data
A survey by the Université de Montréal conducted on over 1,500 adults found that the88 percent of men and the 92 percent of women considers romantic feelings an integral part of one’s sexual fantasies. Another 2018 study confirms that 97 percent of people has recurring erotic fantasies, and that the89 percent have imagined experiences with multiple partners or with dynamics of domination and submission at least once.
A work published in the magazine Archives of Sexual Behavior it also shows that the fantasy of having a relationship in an unusual place – like an office or a public bathroom – is shared by more than80 percent of those interviewedmen and women. In practice, almost everyone imagines “transgressive” situations, but within recognizable and socially acceptable limits.
The normality of desire
Under the covers there are no too extravagant dreams. The most widespread fantasies are not the expression of a secret or deviant world, but the proof that the normality of desire it all plays on the border between safety and risk, control and abandonment, everyday life and imagination.
In summary, two trends emerge clearly: on the one hand, almost everyone has sexual fantasies; on the other, the content remains surprisingly predictable. Public places, consensual domination, adventures with strangers, expert partners and curiosity towards shared experience: desire, ultimately, is always a balancing act between what we are and what we would like to dare.
